The Death of Many

Ba de ya, tell(speaketh the facts) me(Me...dont want there to be any confusion there) youll(contraction of "you" and "will" except with no apostrophe before the two l's) remember(i.e. not forgetting...)...ba de ya, dancin'(other forms: groovin', gettin' down, shakin' it(but definitely not breakin' it), waltzin' and tangoin' it, jumpin' around a fire...) in september(month after august and before october)...ba de ya, never(having no occurence) was a cloudy(white, gray, or possibly black, or even orange things in the sky usually bloking view of regular blue sky or the sun) day(in this case, refers to the times during a 24-hour period that the majority of people in the particular time zone would be "out and about"...or time when they are awake, to when they go to sleep or when the sun goes down)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(represent emphasis of louder, more entusiastic pronunciation of previous line/s)
well now that we got all that cleared up(opposite of down)...could any of u guess what song that was despite all the interrupting clarifications(assuming that u would easily know without interruptions)?
well if u didnt know(shame shame) then...follow these complicated instructions: alright, first, your gonna wanna go find this thing called a gun(six-shooter, preferably), get some bullets(preferably one), then go get two apple pies on the Mickey D's(not to be confused with the all-holy Captain D's) off the Dollar Menu, then your gonna wanna eat(consume, but dont worry about digesting) those apple pies, at the same time(as the last instruction) u need to enjoy them(multitasking at its finest), then your gonna wanna go to a somewhat secluded place(or right out in the open is perfectly fine), and your gonna wanna take that gun out and place that one bullet in the chamber("i sense a russian roulette occurence"), then spin the chamber quickly and lock an' load, then aim and fire the gun at your skull 6 times(u might not complete this step, but jeezus("oh no, religious reference...he must be a bible-crazed-religious-freak...oh, wait...he spelled "jesus" wrong...HES AN ATHEIST who hates everybody!!!"...my response: "have u been following these instructions? cuz u need to...") will still love u), then your gonna wanna(and listen closely on this one, cuz this is the tricky part)...die(u=X)...
so to all of u who didnt have to follow the instructions...welcome :)...would u like a chocolate chip cookie?(they're made with happiness and LOVE(not to be confused with hate)...and extra happiness(about two extra teaspoons)...and some heavenly chocolate chips, lemme tell ya)...u are welcome to read the rest of todays blog cuz youre a good(opposite of bad) person...
september by earth, wind, and fire...whew...fun song u know?("yeah")...
so u remember how i like totally butchered that song at the beginning?("yes i do")...well thats what it would be like if i had to explain everything to u like a pre-school(before kindergarten) teacher...*said like pre-school teacher(incredibly cheery)* "so how about all of u be good little(or big...or medium...we all cool) readers and never*wags finger back and forth* act like buttholes" :)
dont u just love that word?(referring to "buttholes") its so pure and distinct(it does refer directly to one specific place)...almost all of those pre-school through about 4th grade(*9 year old yells terrible curse word*) "cuss" words are fun, and great to use in everyday combat(just look at those Orbit Gum commercials...they settled the feud gracefully every time)...so please, by all means, when the virgin ears are around, always tell'em to hook up the "earmuffs"(possibly to the sweet sounds of september by E, W, & F...*wink-wink*..."earmuffs" on sale at Target for only $11.99..."WHAT A DEAL...ITS ALMOST A STEAL!"...corny? nah) before using any post-4th grade foul language, cuz u dont want your 4-year old talkin' like he wants to win the sailor of the year award(prestigious award handed out once annually on a particularly nice night in june)...again...so be sure to take advantage of the great sale at Target...and i hear that "swear patches"(like nicotine patches, except they regulate how much u swear, and slowly ween u off of cussing for good...cuz going cold turkey just wasnt workin' out) are on sale as well :D...


"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me

(*i start swearing heavily*) :D