Whew...man/woman/boy/girl(choose your beginning) it has been a looooonnnnngggg time since ive posted in here(19 days i believe)...but u gotta understand what its like out there for a blogger celebrity such as Ellipses Anonymous(whom talks in the third person all of a sudden)...sometimes u just gotta get away and enjoy the impending cold weather thats just upon the horizon of November, blessed(youve gotta pronounce these bad boys as "bless-id"...just a forewarning) be, blessed(now youve got it :D) be...
so i hate to disrupt or disturb all u cold-weather fanatics(i realize its your mating season...which was a harsh realization at best...*shivers because its cold* and then *shivers because of u know what*), but i previously said in the first posh(very posh indeed) paragraph that i wanted to "get away" to "enjoy" the "impending" cold "weather"(if your voice dropped in tone when u read the non-quotationated(real word...) words, then me and u will get along just fine...those of u whose voice did NOT drop in tone...itll be AT LEAST *insert numerical sequence of events that might possibly reform the Unworthys blog reading ability* until u can join the ranks of we hallowed few)...but truth be told, i am not one of your kind, nor will i ever be one of your kind(i got turned off for good when i heard your views on the death penalty and your views on clicky-pen or cap-pen...u guys make me sick!)...i love warm, nice weather and DO NOT enjoy long walks on the snow(im more the beach type)...soooooo ok, ill bite...ill tell u why i havent blogged for 19 days, for real...*clears throat*(for no reason...my palate was pretty well cleansed, and my throat felt good enough to bellow a harsh tenor throughout the likes of The Grand Ol' Opry...) well, most importantly, the biggest factor occurred after the arrival of my 12-week grade check o' doom, whose contents were 4 A's 2 B's and 1 Selfish D, courtesy of American Literature and Composition(dont u feel special), more importantly courtesy goes to The Crucible...thank u The Crucible, your activity in the field of ruining a solid 3.5 GPA(Academic Recognition) has finally been relinquished *sarcastic, slow, perfectly timed claps*(Note: a fairy DOES NOT get her wings from these claps...she actually loses a limb for every one...)...this one D directly resulted in me being grounded from the computer which directly affects my ability to post blogs...the second factor that slowed me down(literally and blogulally) was the somewhat recent(one week ago exactly) accident i had involving an indoor football field, some friends, having fun, and jumping off of my left foot at a bad angle thus resulting in the breaking of my left fibula...well it wasnt something that necessarily halted my night...right after it happened i left the place and got some Sonic next door(2 for 1 Sonic Burger coupon :D), then took a guy home, and then laid around my house, and later went to a party at one of my buddys...notice "going to the hospital" was not included in the itinerary...i woke up the next morning and my mom tooketh me to the hospital, and got some x-rays(z-rays have become ineffective) done and then they put a temporary cast on(which is no longer holding my leg in captivity), blah blah blah...so i spent alot of time after that lying around the house some more and taking seemingly placebo painkillers(hydrocodone doesnt do it for me)...im only on the computer right now because my mom feels sorry( :( ) for me and my condition...and i guess another factor was the very recent happening of the holiday(kind of) of Thanksgiving, which seems to have become a day when u have to be thankful for something no matter how bland it may taste after having it the same day every year(i hope u can decipher a metaphorical sense out of that)...i do have alot to be thankful for, but i think that those few turkeys and cranberry sauce trees(tiiiiimmmmmbeerrrrr) that weren't killed for the recent holiday probably have quite a bit more to be thankful for, i presume...
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i go kill off the rest of the turkey and cranberry sauce tree population with a smile on my face and a crutch under each arm*) :D
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
100% Partly Cloudy
Hello everybody...and, uh, well...welcome back...today i will be attempting to post a blog without using any "( )"(except those ones...and the ones im writing in right now...)...its a part of therapy(Symbol Therapy...if u need it yourself, please, by all means, dont hesitate to get the help im getting...if u think u might have it, maybe u got it from somebody(probably me)("one can contract Symbol Syndrome from constantly reading blogs with many symbols that revert the reader away from the base text and sometimes may even lower the readers self-esteem(whatever that is) because the sub-text may contain harsh(sometimes deadly) insults(ex. "your mamas so fat,...", "your so stupid...", or any possibly rhyme-like remark about your questionable views on love as stated my Mr. Jon Bon Jovi(i.e. "your love is like Bad Medicine..."(believe it or not it "...is what i need"), "you give love a bad name"(im shot through the heart, and the answer to "who dun it?" is u...darlin')) directed towards the reader(you)..."), or maybe your just such a hypochondriac(*said in shaky voice* "WHY...DOESN'T... ANYBODY...EVER...CLEAN...THESE...GAWD-FORSAKEN WINDOWS!"...*intense scrubbing sound*..."...NOW I HAVE TO BURN THIS RAG BECAUSE ITS GAW...ITS G-GAW...ITS GAWWWW...ITS GOT D-DD-DDD-D-DD-D-UST ON IT" *coughs violently*) that the thought of having another test(a fake one) on your body will give u the .0037% of reassurance that maybe u dont have a sickness(which will increase your percentage on this topic to an end result of a measly -647%)...but "Restless Legs Syndrome" will take care of that for good) that i just started getting for my Symbol Syndrome, its a method that was initially derived from the "Cold Turkey Postulate"("turn textbooks to page...")...as u have hopefully seen from the content put forth in the previous parts of this post...my condition has actually worsened(got worser :D) exponentially(if u have not noticed this...then,"what are u(O.o) on?!?!?!")...at this point in time, if u have NOT contracted Symbol Syndrome, then u, my dear, have a problem far worse than any Symbol Syndromaniac...or Restless Legs sufferer("hey man, we got it pretty freakin' rough!...does anybody else, like, REALLY wanna go for a run?!?!")...and may gawd rest your soul...and to the guy with the RLS...may gawd rest those poor legs...
so how bout those _____ (insert name of socially-awkward, past or present NFL team)?...yeah, i dont really wanna talk about them either...but u know whats incredibly fun to talk about it?(*reader suggests extremely socially amusing topic...*) why the weather of course!(*reader cant seem to find any amusement in weather...in any dimension*)...the forecast in my local area today, was reported to be partly cloudy with a high of 40 degrees and a UV Index of 0(so be sure to not wear sunblock...*sunblock addict says,"ahhh, what does he know", and then proceeds to dump a gallon(*metric system fanatic stops reading*) of quality SPF all over themselves*)!!! see i told u this was fun to talk about!!!!! im already getting all giddy about tomorrows forecast of an 80% chance of...PRECIPITATION!!!!("have u evveeeeeeerrrr seeeeen the raaain..."-CCR)...
but seriously though...it must really suck to be a weatherman...sitting around all day, hoping for maybe a raindrop("ITS GONE RAAAIIINNN!!!")...hoping for maybe some kind of warning issued by the all-holy National Weather Service, even if it is just some harmless T-Storm(watch out for the J-Storm folks...that one is far worse than any other...*Q-Storm feels unappreciated*..."and he should!")...i think that maybe sometimes when weather is having, like, an off-month, the meteorologists just bribe("cash monaaaay") the NWS to issue a warning over their area so they can cheerfully speak again(cuz sunny weather sucks u know?)...and they get like 612 hours(not an exaggeration) worth of program interrupting("we interrupt what u actually want to be watching to bring u this worthless update on weather conditions"...the TV said it, not me...) on these days(*points fake pistol to head, "fires" continuously*)...and lets be real here, it must also suck to be a weatherman because they are practically the only people forced to predict the future constantly(ok so this is completely off-topic...but i just tapped my "shift" key 5 times really quickly and my computer made the COOLEST sound evvveerrrrr!!!!! it says that i engaged "Stickykeys"...cool stuff right?)...granted he/she is provided with many expensive devices that are used to produce these predictions, but still a "threatening" task nonetheless...i guess...
but also lets be real real here...if u really wanna know the present weather conditions...then hey, why not go old-school and take small step(or giant leap...possibly for mankind, if u feel necessary) outside, and take a glance around...ok, i know, it may sound scary at first...but give it a try man...cuz who knows, there might just be big heap of tasty(questionable adjective in this case) gale force winds waiting for u...and u wouldnt wanna miss that...
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i bribe the National Weather Service to issue a warning over your area...and u become completely bought in by it, and sit and watch the weather channel for 612 straight hours...cuz they cant interrupt your program if u are watching their program...*...*u start to feel like youve beaten the system by doing this*...*i scoff at u*) :D
so how bout those _____ (insert name of socially-awkward, past or present NFL team)?...yeah, i dont really wanna talk about them either...but u know whats incredibly fun to talk about it?(*reader suggests extremely socially amusing topic...*) why the weather of course!(*reader cant seem to find any amusement in weather...in any dimension*)...the forecast in my local area today, was reported to be partly cloudy with a high of 40 degrees and a UV Index of 0(so be sure to not wear sunblock...*sunblock addict says,"ahhh, what does he know", and then proceeds to dump a gallon(*metric system fanatic stops reading*) of quality SPF all over themselves*)!!! see i told u this was fun to talk about!!!!! im already getting all giddy about tomorrows forecast of an 80% chance of...PRECIPITATION!!!!("have u evveeeeeeerrrr seeeeen the raaain..."-CCR)...
but seriously though...it must really suck to be a weatherman...sitting around all day, hoping for maybe a raindrop("ITS GONE RAAAIIINNN!!!")...hoping for maybe some kind of warning issued by the all-holy National Weather Service, even if it is just some harmless T-Storm(watch out for the J-Storm folks...that one is far worse than any other...*Q-Storm feels unappreciated*..."and he should!")...i think that maybe sometimes when weather is having, like, an off-month, the meteorologists just bribe("cash monaaaay") the NWS to issue a warning over their area so they can cheerfully speak again(cuz sunny weather sucks u know?)...and they get like 612 hours(not an exaggeration) worth of program interrupting("we interrupt what u actually want to be watching to bring u this worthless update on weather conditions"...the TV said it, not me...) on these days(*points fake pistol to head, "fires" continuously*)...and lets be real here, it must also suck to be a weatherman because they are practically the only people forced to predict the future constantly(ok so this is completely off-topic...but i just tapped my "shift" key 5 times really quickly and my computer made the COOLEST sound evvveerrrrr!!!!! it says that i engaged "Stickykeys"...cool stuff right?)...granted he/she is provided with many expensive devices that are used to produce these predictions, but still a "threatening" task nonetheless...i guess...
but also lets be real real here...if u really wanna know the present weather conditions...then hey, why not go old-school and take small step(or giant leap...possibly for mankind, if u feel necessary) outside, and take a glance around...ok, i know, it may sound scary at first...but give it a try man...cuz who knows, there might just be big heap of tasty(questionable adjective in this case) gale force winds waiting for u...and u wouldnt wanna miss that...
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i bribe the National Weather Service to issue a warning over your area...and u become completely bought in by it, and sit and watch the weather channel for 612 straight hours...cuz they cant interrupt your program if u are watching their program...*...*u start to feel like youve beaten the system by doing this*...*i scoff at u*) :D
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A Hint Of Red
Welcome back all(there is no exception to who is being welcomed this time(emphasis on "THIS TIME")...so u who was the exception last time(u know who u were...and u know what u did...*everybody thinks its them...again*) can let out a sigh(*sigh*) of relief("whew")...but dont get comfortable!(*u get comfortable*...*i kill u*:D...)...somebody bet me 10("X" in Roman Numerals...*Roman reader feels accounted for...and then realizes reality*(i sense pointless racism towards Romans)...) bucks(American currency...not to be confused with the four(as opposed to three...which is incredibly lop-sided)-legged animal, whom is commonly named "Georgio"...*readers wonder why one would name a buck "Georgio"*...*"Georgio" feels special*...*"Georgio" weeps*...*"Georgio" seeks help for his bipolar condition*) that i couldn't help but just drool( :P''''''''''''O...if u could figure out that text picture then gawd bless u...same thing goes if u might have sneezed...) over the fact that Barack Obama(pronunciation="Awesome Awesome"...if u were having trouble pronouncing his name...) was elected Pres. in my blog...but i wont drool(anymore...), ill just say that McCain did a good job at losing(this is a good fail)...(by the way, nobody bet me 10 dollars...i was just trying for a decent "segway"(not the device used for travelling) into that McCain line there...im cool arent i...dont worry i wont attempt any more "segways")but there is something that i know for sure that Obama and McCain(loser) have both done...and u have too...
...travelled through a stoplight when it was NOT green(*reader realizes that i lied about the "no more segways" business*)...so first i must state that "NOT green" means yellow and/or RED(ahhhh red!!!!!...for some reason its scary...i couldnt tell u why though...because i wouldn't have to not kill u...hehe try and figure out that double-negative...)...ok we got that all settled(whew)...second of all, i must say that practically(in concurrence with almost) nobody on the freakin'(curse word avoided) road knows how to drive("vroom vroom"
..."eerrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnt"...*screech*..."ppddsssshhheeeewwww"
..."jello"...*crash*...*reader tries to figure out how his/her car can make a "jello" noise*) worth a poop(curse word avoided once again...therapy is going well :D)...just gotta throw that out there...ill see somebody(maybe u!) on the road, and ill approach with my driving style that can be best described by "I Cant Drive 55"(by Sammy Hagar, i might add), and ill see that somebody also with a driving style of "I Cant Drive 55"...except theirs means that they cannot REACH the speed of 55...nuff said right? yes...thats just how stuff works...your not fast enough for me 98% of the time, every time(im getting pretty tired of these "...every time" jokes about 100% of the time, every time...*shakes head*)...but to those 2% of u who are fast enough...I LOVE U WITH AN EVERLASTING PASSION!!!!! U MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!!!(and truth be told, cause far less accidents than those other 98% who are slow as poop...and thats a fact)...and i hate u people who drive really slow and are the reason why many people(mostly ME) dont make the light...and i hate u people that wait like 14 seconds(were all hoping for like .019 seconds off the blocks...max) after the green light has been initiated to finally start moving("chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo!") through the intersection(seriously...u guys are the reason why we cant have nice things...shame on u...and your children...and their children...and their childrens childrens uncles fifth grade teacher-in-law...u get the idea)...and i hate when u people go really slow, and then when the light is yellow, u like, freaking book(i.e. novel, autobiography...) it...not cool man/woman...not cool...and now...something all of u better admit that youve done...ran at least a little bit of a RED(ahhhhh not again!!!!!) light...youre just moseyin' on home from work or school one day and u really wanna get home A.S.A.P.(Amazingly Stupid Acronym Purple...couldnt think of a good P-word), and on one particular light u notice that its just hit "Code Yellow" and theres still 3 cars ahead of u...and then...they go through...and then...u...BrEaK tHe LaW("that old thing?...pfft..."...*police officer whacks u with a night stick*..."smooth move slick")!!!!!...u just say "screw it" and as your going through, the light violently("rraaawwwrrrrr!!!") switches to the color of BLOOD(when exposed to oxygen of course...)!!!!! u caught about 1/6 of the RED(ahhhh!!!) light, which makes u a bad person, just like everybody else(its kinda like that "unique" thing...:D)...and justa heads up(as opposed to a "feets down")...this means that "Go"=Green light, Yellow light, and 1/6 of RED(ahhhh!!!) light...which is 2 and 1/6 of legal light running...the game of "RED(ahhhh!!!) light, Green light" will be changed forever...(*inhabitants of playgrounds sense a change in infrastructure*)...
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i dont contradict myself at the end of this post*)...(or did i?...)...
...travelled through a stoplight when it was NOT green(*reader realizes that i lied about the "no more segways" business*)...so first i must state that "NOT green" means yellow and/or RED(ahhhh red!!!!!...for some reason its scary...i couldnt tell u why though...because i wouldn't have to not kill u...hehe try and figure out that double-negative...)...ok we got that all settled(whew)...second of all, i must say that practically(in concurrence with almost) nobody on the freakin'(curse word avoided) road knows how to drive("vroom vroom"
..."eerrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnt"...*screech*..."ppddsssshhheeeewwww"
..."jello"...*crash*...*reader tries to figure out how his/her car can make a "jello" noise*) worth a poop(curse word avoided once again...therapy is going well :D)...just gotta throw that out there...ill see somebody(maybe u!) on the road, and ill approach with my driving style that can be best described by "I Cant Drive 55"(by Sammy Hagar, i might add), and ill see that somebody also with a driving style of "I Cant Drive 55"...except theirs means that they cannot REACH the speed of 55...nuff said right? yes...thats just how stuff works...your not fast enough for me 98% of the time, every time(im getting pretty tired of these "...every time" jokes about 100% of the time, every time...*shakes head*)...but to those 2% of u who are fast enough...I LOVE U WITH AN EVERLASTING PASSION!!!!! U MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE!!!(and truth be told, cause far less accidents than those other 98% who are slow as poop...and thats a fact)...and i hate u people who drive really slow and are the reason why many people(mostly ME) dont make the light...and i hate u people that wait like 14 seconds(were all hoping for like .019 seconds off the blocks...max) after the green light has been initiated to finally start moving("chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo!") through the intersection(seriously...u guys are the reason why we cant have nice things...shame on u...and your children...and their children...and their childrens childrens uncles fifth grade teacher-in-law...u get the idea)...and i hate when u people go really slow, and then when the light is yellow, u like, freaking book(i.e. novel, autobiography...) it...not cool man/woman...not cool...and now...something all of u better admit that youve done...ran at least a little bit of a RED(ahhhhh not again!!!!!) light...youre just moseyin' on home from work or school one day and u really wanna get home A.S.A.P.(Amazingly Stupid Acronym Purple...couldnt think of a good P-word), and on one particular light u notice that its just hit "Code Yellow" and theres still 3 cars ahead of u...and then...they go through...and then...u...BrEaK tHe LaW("that old thing?...pfft..."...*police officer whacks u with a night stick*..."smooth move slick")!!!!!...u just say "screw it" and as your going through, the light violently("rraaawwwrrrrr!!!") switches to the color of BLOOD(when exposed to oxygen of course...)!!!!! u caught about 1/6 of the RED(ahhhh!!!) light, which makes u a bad person, just like everybody else(its kinda like that "unique" thing...:D)...and justa heads up(as opposed to a "feets down")...this means that "Go"=Green light, Yellow light, and 1/6 of RED(ahhhh!!!) light...which is 2 and 1/6 of legal light running...the game of "RED(ahhhh!!!) light, Green light" will be changed forever...(*inhabitants of playgrounds sense a change in infrastructure*)...
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i dont contradict myself at the end of this post*)...(or did i?...)...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
25 Hour Day
Welcome back all("except u"...*every reader begins to think that it is them who is the exception to being welcomed back*...), to the blogorama(arent "-orama" word endings fun?) of "...Ellipses Anonymous..."(*fans bow down*..."someday...someday...*looks off into distance*")...since my last blog post("That One Guy And That One Girl From Sports Clips"), which received rave reviews("ive never really understood that statement...i dont recall any reviews originating from an organized underground electronical music dance party(or partay) that was aided by the use of drugs("this one time, i was like..."...U know the end of that story...) and/or casual("im just lookin' for a good time..."...) intercourse(aka "getting it on"..."if u are under the age of 18, "it" should not be "on""...*giggles*)...but maybe im just delusional), an occurence of the good(as opposed to bad) ol' mischievous("uh oh") night that is better known as...*stupid drum roll effect*(i hate these things)...Halloween...whoop-di-woo...and im gonna do everyone a favor by NOT talking about Halloween(i turn the lights OFF by the way...but thanks for coming by :)...*evil laugh*)...so instead lets talk about something thats also incredibly pointless...yet fun...
the "fall back"(as opposed to "spring forward") time change...the seemingly 25 hours long day(which beats the daily international average of...24, i believe it is...)...the day where u can get an extra hour of sleep("snnooooozzzze")...the day where u can blame something besides "your darn kid"(*"your darn kid" stops reading*) and "traffic"(*"traffic" stops reading*) for being late...the day where u can use an extra hour to write a blog post about having an extra hour("but who would do that?"...)...the day where the TV show "60 Minutes" feels uber pointless(even more than usual...:D)...the day where the digital clock gets some much-needed action(hour down button says,"YEEESSSSSSSS!")(minute button says, "NO FAIR!"...my response:"u had your chance minute button...!")...the day where u can get an extra hour of sleep("u said that twice now!!")...the day where u get an extra hour of...well...an hour...special right?
i, however, spent my extra hour on u("who me?"..."yes u!"...my response: *i punch the "who me? person" and the "yes u person" in the face* "lets not start that crap again!")...yes...u...(and i went and washed my car at one of those "put the quarters in the machine and attempt to pridefully clean your car"(catchy name for a carwash i know) places...yeah, i had like 20 seconds left so i had to sprint around my car doing the regular rinse thing, and then run back over to the machine, select "non-spot rinse"(which sounds promising...), then sprint around my car once more(2nd lap...great cardio), then come to find that the "non-spot rinse" decided to take a sick day(one of many im sure), and all the glass chalk that was on my car was still answering "present" in the legislature of "The Vehicle of Me"(kinda like "The United States of America"...im cool i know), which i then proceeded to try and chip off with my fingernails(which was a fantastic idea, as u can see from my partially blue fingernails)...but then i went to Sonic during Happy( :) ) Hours and got a Large Real Fruit Lemon Slush for a buckaroo(or buck...or dollar...or banana to all my readers in the mafia...u are very much appreciated), so that was great)so be happy( not :( )
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i admire my efficiently washed car*) :D
the "fall back"(as opposed to "spring forward") time change...the seemingly 25 hours long day(which beats the daily international average of...24, i believe it is...)...the day where u can get an extra hour of sleep("snnooooozzzze")...the day where u can blame something besides "your darn kid"(*"your darn kid" stops reading*) and "traffic"(*"traffic" stops reading*) for being late...the day where u can use an extra hour to write a blog post about having an extra hour("but who would do that?"...)...the day where the TV show "60 Minutes" feels uber pointless(even more than usual...:D)...the day where the digital clock gets some much-needed action(hour down button says,"YEEESSSSSSSS!")(minute button says, "NO FAIR!"...my response:"u had your chance minute button...!")...the day where u can get an extra hour of sleep("u said that twice now!!")...the day where u get an extra hour of...well...an hour...special right?
i, however, spent my extra hour on u("who me?"..."yes u!"...my response: *i punch the "who me? person" and the "yes u person" in the face* "lets not start that crap again!")...yes...u...(and i went and washed my car at one of those "put the quarters in the machine and attempt to pridefully clean your car"(catchy name for a carwash i know) places...yeah, i had like 20 seconds left so i had to sprint around my car doing the regular rinse thing, and then run back over to the machine, select "non-spot rinse"(which sounds promising...), then sprint around my car once more(2nd lap...great cardio), then come to find that the "non-spot rinse" decided to take a sick day(one of many im sure), and all the glass chalk that was on my car was still answering "present" in the legislature of "The Vehicle of Me"(kinda like "The United States of America"...im cool i know), which i then proceeded to try and chip off with my fingernails(which was a fantastic idea, as u can see from my partially blue fingernails)...but then i went to Sonic during Happy( :) ) Hours and got a Large Real Fruit Lemon Slush for a buckaroo(or buck...or dollar...or banana to all my readers in the mafia...u are very much appreciated), so that was great)so be happy( not :( )
"i don't necessarily think "outside the box"...i just have loads of crazy fun times inside my own"-Me
(*i admire my efficiently washed car*) :D
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